*tap tap tap*
Oh, hi there, neglected blog. How’s it hangin’?
I guess Mark has pestered me enough about writing a post, and seeing as how it’s a little before 5am and I’ve gone through all my bookmarked time suck websites, I may as well get this done and shut him up for a while.
I mean that in the nicest way possible, darling.
There are a of couple reasons for staying away. One being that Mark always beats me to the punch when chronicling out latest happenings. Two being that I can’t knock out a post in thirty seconds like he does and my time has been better spent trying to find a job. Lastly, there’s been a little bit of depression floating around and when that happens I tend to limit my communication to only what is absolutely necessary.
The fog it lifting and I hope to keep up the momentum. So, here I am.
Aside from the whole “being an unemployed loser”, things have been going well. There’s never a shortage of things to do and sometimes we have to force ourselves to not make any plans just so we can relax, clear out the DVR, or get things done around the house. I can’t believe it’s been almost five months since I left Nevada. Some days, it feels like I’ve been here for years. Other times it feels like I barely left.
Speaking of Nevada, I had to make a quick trip down there last month to check on my house after the renters moved out. I had mixed emotions about the trip and while I was excited to see family and friends, I was dreading the drive and I’d had several weeks to agonize over worst-case scenarios for what the condition of my house would be when I got there. I was also dreading the fact that it was going to be in the 90’s and neither my house or my dad’s has decent air conditioning. I sure have gotten spoiled with the mild temperatures up here (and the central air in Mark’s townhouse).
One huge highlight from that trip was meeting up with an old BFF from my Utah days. Twenty-one years ago, Mandi and I were inseparable. Then I moved to Idaho Falls and though it took a few years, we eventually fell out of touch. In fact, the last time I saw her was just a few months before I got married in 1995. We reconnected on Facebook last year and have been trying to meet up ever since. A quick stop in Boise for lunch turned into a two hour visit. I met her kids, husband, and cat, and wanted to stay a few more days just so we could catch up. Dad was expecting me though, so I had to get back on the road and book it south.
Boy, did we laugh about all our teenage shenanigans!
Summer of ’92. Rockin’ the b.u.m. equipment and Girbaud jeans!
The house ended up not being as bad as I feared, although I still had my work cut out for me. It needed a good cleaning, contrary to the renter’s pissy text message a couple days later that the house had been left spotless. I know we all have our own ideas of “clean”, but mine does not include six months of greasy build up on the top part of the stove, a bag of mostly melted ice in the freezer, and a bunch of crap left in the storage shed and one of the utility room cupboards. I tried to come prepared by packing a bunch of cleaning supplies and my tool box, but there were still multiple trips to town for more supplies…and a pneumatic shock for the front storm door after I found out they had ruined the existing one. I was being pestered about their security deposit, but its funny how things got suddenly quiet after I emailed pictures with a line item list of all the cleaning and repairs. This may be my first time being a landlord, but I’m no dummy.
Aside from dealing with house stuff, I had a great time visiting family and friends. My first morning in town was spent with Doreen for our traditional morning coffee bullshit session. Two hours later I finally drug myself out of the office to get started on the house. The power was turned off so I couldn’t even run the ceiling fans and it was quickly approaching 90 degrees. Lesson learned, I worked on the house in the mornings for the rest of my visit and spent the afternoons trying to squeeze in as much visiting as I could. My last night in town a few of us met at the softball fields to watch a game and then met a few more later on for dinner and drinks. Good times all around!
Since I had given myself a week to travel, get shit done, and drive back to Washington, I decided to detour to Elko to visit more family. Dria and I had lots of catching up to do and just like most of our past visits, there were lots of beers and laughter involved. Friday was my free day to just relax and hang out with Dria and the baby before leaving early Saturday morning. We did just that and while I really wanted to stay up for another late night of girl talk, I knew I had to hit the sack early.
Not surprising, I tossed and turned most of the night. By 4am I had given up trying to get any more sleep. I had been smart the night before and had packed up the car except for a change of clothes, a ball cap, and my toothbrush. Five minutes after climbing out of bed I was back in my car and headed home.
Not only did I get to surprise Mark by showing up an hour earlier than he thought, I was greeted with a beautiful sunrise just south of Wildhorse Reservoir.
Nevada always treats me to her best scenery whenever I leave.
I think the days following that trip is when things started to go down hill for me. I had a come-apart the night I got back; a culmination of exhaustion and hormones. After a really good cry and a decent night of sleep I was feeling better, but I never pulled myself completely out of the funk. I think it’s partly from missing my friends and family. I hated saying goodbye again so soon. I kinda miss my job, but I miss not having a paycheck more. Nobody likes to admit they can’t get a job and I’m just so sick of submitting resume after resume. I’ve lost track of how many jobs I’ve applied for since I got here. A hundred? More? Of course it’s discouraging, especially when the turn-downs come in, even after you thought you totally nailed the second interview.
Besides feeling like a loser, there’s the added stress of money. My stash is quickly dwindling and depending on how quickly I can get another renter moved in, I’ll be tapped out in another month or so. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’ll more than likely have to get a service industry job until I can land something more permanent. I’ve already looked into getting my food handler’s card (a state requirement) and have been keeping my eye out for decent openings (with decent shifts).
Sometimes, when I’m tossing and turning during the wee hours of the night, I wonder if I made the right decision. Was it worth giving up a secure, decent paying job with excellent benefits, and my retirement to move up here? Should I have waited it out a few more months until I had a better handle on my savings and job situation? Was it worth risking my good credit, health, and sanity? When I think of all the memories, all the times I held my nephew in my arms, all the laughter, tears, passionate embraces, and tender kisses…I think abso-fucking-lutely.
This little guy makes it all worth it.
And so does this guy!